Climbing Trees

My sister put me on to an interesting read yesterday and it immediately put me in mind of my former post about Groups. I think there’s a connection. Bear with me.

First, here’s the article. It’s worth a read:  This I Believe…About Basic Dignity

In short, the article states this premise: “When we treat people as objects, we dehumanize them. We do something really terrible to their souls and to our own.”

It goes on: “Martin Buber, an Austrian-born philosopher, wrote about the differences between an ‘I-it’ relationship and an ‘I-you’ relationship. An ‘I-it relationship is basically what we create when we are in transactions with people whom we treat like objects – people who are simply there to serve us or complete a task.“

So, how does this relate to Groups, you ask?

My theory is that when one becomes part of a Group, the group no longer views you as an individual, but rather as part of the Group: a piece of the whole, rather than  a “whole” in your own right. (That sounds rather odd, doesn’t it.) From that point on, everything you do in Group must benefit the Group or you risk retribution, punishment, or expulsion. In that sense, as the quote above states, groups dehumanize individuals.

Now, I know reading these posts on Groups is going to make it seem like I’m totally against them.  I’m not…necessarily. I’m only against them when they go horribly wrong and people get hurt. I *do* think, however, that Groups are a lot like marriages: you have to work really, really hard to make sure the individuals involved are as nurtured and as cared for as the marriages themselves. If you don’t, someone will end up getting hurt, and the marriage will self-combust.

My advice: steer clear of any Group that wants to stifle your individuality rather than celebrate it, that wants to minimize your importance in favor of the Group’s.

You’re full of originality and love. It’s your job to share that with the world, not hide it away.

When we’re young, we don’t want to be different. (Well, unless you’re Lady Gaga. But I’m quite sure that meat-wearing, egg-hatching divas are the exception, not the rule.)

Sometimes, though, as we get older, we become more comfortable with ourselves and who we are. Then, we don’t worry so much about being different. We actually kind of like standing out in the crowd, because we’ve gained the confidence that comes from knowing — and liking — who we are.

On the other hand, some people never outgrow the need to be part of a clique, preferring the safety and anonymity of large numbers over the freedom inherent in individuality. They feel safe in  a “Group”.

Sheep, my husband calls them. I prefer to think of them as lost.

“Groups” tend to develop group mentality. Members don’t think for themselves anymore, and are too afraid of disapproval from the group to step out and try something on their own. They lose themselves to the collective whole.

As the Borg would say, they’ve been assimilated.  (For the non-geeks among us, that was a Star Trek reference.)

I’ve met some amazing individuals in the last few years as I’ve branched out into the world of art and miniatures. Sadly, though, many of these individuals were part of “Groups” so I never got to discover their full potential, to  know them as individuals rather than as part of their groups.

I find that really sad.

I’m quite sure I would have liked some of them.